1. Did you avoid and/or survive childhood infections such as measles, chickenpox and polio?

2. Do you rely on antibiotics to cure your infections?

3. If you were told that you needed a heart, liver or kidney transplant, would you give your consent?

4. Are you currently taking any medication?

5. If you were advised that an artificial hip or knee would alleviate your pain and allow you to walk again, would you give your consent?

6. Before taking a medication, do you want to know that it is safe?

If you answered "yes" to any of the above, then you support animal research.

If you are an animal-rights advocate and answered "yes" to any of the above, then you practice hypocrisy. Put your money where your mouth is -- shun modern medicine and contribute to your local animal shelter. Stop eating meat. Or, better yet, adopt a research chimpanzee. They only cost $15 per day to maintain. Mind you, they may be HIV-positive, and Federal law requires that you provide them with toys for entertainment. They like to watch television, and, why not? They are 98% genetically identical to you (though their hair may be of a different color). If this is too much trouble, you can simply rally behind Congressional legislation to create sanctuaries for retired chimps.

And in the end, it is certainly easier to debate the plight of animals in this country than the plight of children. The animals will never utter their opinion, even after they've grown up.